On Being Adopted

I just watched a short documentary on a young girl giving up her twin babies and can’t imagine what it was like for my birth mother to give me up. Although I have no regrets I certainly do not wish the pain and sadness on anyone. I met my birth mother 10 years ago and she, in detail, told me of that fateful day. It was almost like she was reliving that day when she told me the story. I could see the pain and sadness on her face. As a mother, I could never give up my children. No way! But, I know some people have no choice or simply just wanting better for their children. My birth mother actually came from a very good family. Father was an Admiral in the Navy and happily married to her mother. But, like in many families things just happen that cannot be explained and for my birth mother the path she chose was to get pregnant and carry me to term and give me up for adoption for whatever reason. Could have been her parents. Could have been her simply wanting to forget my birth father. Could have been that she really wanted the best for me. But, for whatever reason, I think it was for the best despite some hardships I endured with my adoptive parents.

I am not sure what my point in writing this is, but all I know is that being adopted has been quite interesting. There are so many emotions involved with being the adoptee. I always wondered what my birth parents looked like, who they were, what they were doing. I found out in the year 2000 and so many things were finally explained. I suppose that story is for another night of writing. But, the emotions are like a roller coaster. I am at a point in my life right now though that I prefer no drama. I suppose with all the drama I had growing up, I simply cannot not tolerate it? Hmmm, food for thought.

"I love your car, Daddy!"

On the way home from doing some errands on Friday I told Keanu that "Daddy is getting a new car." He immediately had a look of excitement on his face as I looked at him through the rear view mirror. I knew it would light up his face when I told him because the boy LOVES cars just like his Dad.

So, all afternoon Keanu was excited about going to pick up the car. But, of course, on the ride down to the seller's house he fell asleep. Well, it just works out that way sometimes.

Later that evening we were driving to dinner, our Friday night dinner out, and Keanu was sitting in the backseat in his carseat and said, "I love your car, Daddy!" He said it quite a few more times on the way to the restaurant. It was so adorable. And, you know, I really do believe how much he loves the new car.

A New Year Upon Us

With the kids finally asleep I sit here in silence reflecting about a year gone by. What a wonderful year it has been especially because we have welcomed our new little baby, Kanoa. He has become such a joyful addition to our family and has already become a good playmate for my first son, Keanu.

With a new year upon us I think of all the fun we will have with more holidays to celebrate, milestones to document, and adventures to take as a family. This is the year where we pull out the stops and go full steam ahead with 200% FUN! Now that I am a stay-at-home Mom I can concentrate completely on my children and do the things that I have wanted to do for the 3 years I worked full-time. Funny how life changes and how different things can be in just one year. For me, it is for the better and I intend on making it better and better as time goes on.

What I am Thankful For

The list is very long for all the things that I am thankful for. But, there is one that stands out above all of them. My health and the health of my children. I hear of so many babies being born with medical conditions and I feel so blessed that my children are healthy. I too am healthy as far as I am concerned. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that my husband is relatively healthy, but he does have a chronic disease - Multiple Sclerosis. He will have it the rest of his life as there is no cure. He has slowed the progression with medication, but he will always have this disease to deal with.

Then, there is my Mom who has lung cancer. She has gone into remission once, but it came back and she is going through cancer treatments. For her, there is no cure either. Even though she is fully functional, she will always be monitoring her health as well.

Yes, a lot to absorb when my two closest loved ones have pretty serious health conditions. But, I can't dwell on it. I need to keep myself as healthy as possible so in times when my loved ones need me I am there to help them. I know I am strong, I am healthy and my job is to keep everyone I love healthy. (more on that later)

So, on the eve of Thanks Giving I look to a healthy future for me and everyone I care about.

Good Older Brother

I couldn't be more pleased with the relationship my two boys have with each other. When I was expecting Kanoa many thoughts and worries raced through my mind as to how Keanu was going to interact with his baby brother. At first, Keanu was pretty reserved and would only look at Kanoa admiringly, but didn't want to touch him. But, that changed gradually. He would slowly touch Kanoa on the face by rubbing his cheeks and then kissing him on the head and then hugging. Now, it's like he is overly affectionate where it sometimes scares me as Keanu wants to hug Kanoa so much it looks like he is suffocating him. But, Kanoa doesn't seem to mind.

There is nothing more rewarding to watch a 3 year old and 5 month old baby interact by laying on the floor and laughing at each other. I truly believe they are going to be best friends. I can already see the kinship forming and Keanu, being the sweet, caring, and affectionate person that he is will always look out for his brother. Kanoa is also quite infatuated with Keanu and I must say when Keanu is in preschool I sense that he misses him.

It will be very interesting to see how they grow up together. My job, as their mother, is to promote a healthy relationship and to always be respectful and considerate to each other. Keanu epitomizes a "good older brother". When the angels sent me Keanu not only did they send me a baby that I longed for, but a good soul. I look to how I parent, but I can't seem to really take credit for his good nature. He was just born that way. I can only hope Kanoa will be as good a soul as his older brother.

Cold Remedy Tips for an Infant

I'll just mention that I am not a doctor or nurse, but being a mother of 2 children under the age of 4 years old, I have learned a few things.

My 4 1/2 month baby boy has recently contracted a cold/flu. Although his cold has not been bad enough to require a doctor's visit, it is his first cold so the poor little guy is quite miserable.

Here's what I've found:

1. Irrigate the nose with saline that blue thing they gave you at the hospital. I think I have like 5 or 6 of them laying around.
   
2. Use Vicks vapor rub or something similar
3. Bathe in warm water with a vapor solution in the bath - you can find this at any store selling baby stuff.
   
4. Keep baby relatively warm without over dressing
   
5. Give Infant Tylenol every 4 hours to relieve fever and aches and pains
   
6. If you breast feed, that is the best for him because you're giving him all your immunities.

The worst of it is that he is coughing a lot. I do know that coughing is actually good for them because it gets the mucus out and doesn't let it settle in the chest which can cause pneumonia. However, his coughing has caused him to frequently spit up his milk or breast milk. So, I've learned to not let him gorge himself and I feed him in short increments and then burp him which helps with him not spitting up everything he just drank.

Unfortunately, there is not much one can do for an infant with a cold because you can't give them any cold medicine. So, these are my best remedies.

No "Yelling" Over Spilled Milk

I feel so bad for losing my temper with Keanu lately. Let's just face it, pretty much everything that he does that makes me raise my voice to him are things that he doesn't do deliberately. What I mean by that is he truly is a good boy and really doesn't expect to make me upset. He is warm hearted, sweet, happy, smiling and really a people pleaser. But, gosh, sometimes there are just things he does that just makes me "lose it". But, why? I can sit here typing this knowing deep down that he doesn't mean to do things to make me mad. In fact, I think in his cute little head of his he thinks he's helping me.

So, back to the "why?". I know why... it's because I have not learned to just "let things go". Who cares if he spills some milk, right? I mean, those are things that are so minuscule. Yea, sure, sometimes he does things to test me, but what toddler doesn't do that? I just need to calm the heck down and love him for even trying. I should be happy that he wants to try to do all sorts of things himself. It will make him an independent person later in life.

I guess correcting and scolding are two different things. I think I've been scolding him lately and not correcting his actions. Or, is "correcting" even a good term to use too? I believe teaching him is the best. Perhaps I haven't been the best teacher. How will he learn if he does not explore and make mistakes. Although sometimes he does not seem to learn from his mistakes.

My goal is not to scold or yell at him anymore. What's the point? It may just scar him later in life and I don't want that. I am really lucky to have such a good child and I am probably slowly chipping away at his happiness which may warp him as he gets older.